Earlier in this series of essays I compared the untamed mind to that of a monkey. I realize now, that in our increasingly urban society, it wasn’t the best metaphor. Besides throwing feces and masturbating casually, what are monkeys like? I don’t know, either.
A better way to describe a typical brain is to say it’s like a sadistic boss or an ex-spouse. To tell you the truth, my mind is a lot like a pinball machine on amphetamines. As likely as not, when I sit down, determined to meditate, my brain is playing some song for me and it won’t stop. Or it might be criticizing me for something I did or should have done many years ago. I can still remember the chatter it indulged in when I was raising a family and working for a living: there was just so much to do!
Well, if you’ve tried meditating and have begun to be frustrated, I have a couple tips that might be helpful.
First of all, try to find a comfortable, quiet, and a peaceful place. Unlike many, I don’t find it necessary to twist my legs like pretzels or do anything that is difficult. Almost always, I will sit upright in a chair and lay the palms of my hands down on my thighs. If I’m in a chair with arms, I might rest my hands and forearms on them. If my dog decides to jump of my lap, that’s fine. I remember, many years ago, on the next-to-last broadcast of The McLaughlin Report, John McLaughlin, the host, had a small dog on his lap and he kept petting it. The old fellow was dying and, doubtless, his dog gave him some comfort and peace. To the best of my knowledge, I’m not dying, but I enjoy it when my dog lays on my lap. It’s not distracting and it makes it easy to remember a simple mantra: “Love”.
Secondly, most of us take breaths that are too shallow and that are not conducive to meditation. It’s a good idea to let the tip of your tongue touch the backs of your front teeth (that connects the body’s chi channels) and concentrate on breathing. Inhale through the nose for a count of four, hold the breath for a count of four, and exhale through the nose for a count of five. Do this until you settle down.
That’s all well and good; but this is where meditation (and its challenges) begins.
Everyone is different, but it has been my experience that the simplest way to maintain very slow brainwaves is to count breaths from one to ten, over and over. I find myself visualizing the numbers. Inhale slowly, see that one. Exhale slowly, see that one. Inhale slowly, see the two. Exhale slowly, see the two, etc.. Once you reach ten, start over again. There is no goal. There is no expectation. All there is is the breathing. If you get lost or if you lose concentration, say, you find yourself thinking “thirty-five” or “forty-five”, change it to five and keep going.
Some, who have been successful in focusing on the breath, will be able to visualize it proceeding down to the “ocean of chi” inside the lower Dan Tien. This is the exact center of your body, about an inch and a half below the navel and this is why skeptics sometimes call those of us who meditate “navel gazers”.
Don’t expect to be successful in “going inside” and maintaining a meditative state every time you sit. Don’t get frustrated or angry with yourself. If you decide it’s more important to fold the laundry or wash the dishes, then it’s probably more important to fold the laundry or to wash the dishes. But persevere and you will succeed.
Everyone who decides to spend time in meditation needs to learn to concentrate. There are many exercises that will develop concentration. Tie your shoes in a non-habitual fashion. If you are driving somewhere, try taking a different route than you usually do.
When you sit to meditate, visualize a house you used to live in. Focus on every detail you can remember. Go from room to room and experience the feelings you had. See the colors. Picture a friend. Imagine shaking hands with that person and carrying on a conversation.
The more details you can recall and relive, the better your concentration will become. This will help you maintain your meditative state when you are ready to go to deeper levels.
In an earlier essay I said I have little use for “mindfulness meditation”. Typically, these mental exercises are nothing more than progressive relaxation and I don’t find it edifying or a good use of my time to be aware of my tongue, my lips, my face, my nose, ad nauseam.
Needless to say, since I wrote that, I discovered one that I enjoy and I’m going to close by pasting a link to it. This comes courtesy of Dr. Maoshing Ni and his website
https://taostar.com