AUGUST 5, 2022

A DAY THAT WILL LIVE ON AND ON

I’ll never forget that day, August 5, 2022. That was when the first chapter of CARLTON, THE CRIME FIGHTING PIG was posted on Substack. His adventures were documented over five chapters and 25 days. Two sequels were published, but neither of them, as sequels often are, were any good.

This month, in honor of my favorite pig, the Ironwood Pig Sanctuary chose to put his picture on the cover of their excellent monthly newsletter.

I could not be prouder.

Interestingly, as his name and his picture spread across the world, his fame grew and he was deemed by many in the porcine world to be the possible savior of our fallen and disgraced nation.

Given his telepathic powers, Carlton awakened and aroused an army of patriotic feral boars and hogs throughout Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Utah. The message he repeatedly sent them was simple and to the point: We must destroy the Utah Data Center in Bluffdale, Utah.

Thanks to the Patriot Act, our government’s terror of the citizens of the USA, and the diktats of the dictatorship, this fascist center for stealing and abusing personal information now covers 1.5 million square feet. It holds 200 spies and it reports on everything our televisions and Alexa’s forward to it. Needless to say, every keystroke on every computer keyboard is studied. Every telephone call and text message is turned inside-out in the never-ending paranoid insanity of the Nazis who fully expect to conquer the world before Brandon declares martial law and prevents the expected election in November.

Well, I’ll get off my bandstand for a moment. In fact, I am announcing that I will no longer be posting anything with political content. After all, the FBI went all the way to Alaska to arrest a woman who just happened to be in Washington, DC on January 6, 2021. How hard would it be for them to locate me and quietly Arkancide me.

In my mind, this is proof that the totalitarian government in Washington, DC, has assumed nearly total control over the citizens who once had a voice in how this nation was run. I have no desire to go to prison or to have FBI agents show up at my house.

So, I’ll just end on this positive note: Despite the wonderful care and treatment that Carlton and nearly 700 other pigs received at Ironwood, Carlton decided he had to get out, organize and train his pig army, and destroy the Intelligence Community Comprehensive National Cybersecurity Initiative Data Center. Pigs love to burrow and it was just a matter of weeks until Carlton managed to dig a hole under the outer fence of his particular field and escape.

He has already made contact with hundreds of like-minded porkers and they are preparing to hoof it on up to Utah to raise hell with the mind-control slime.

Cerdo y Cerdo! The war has just begun.

I will continue to cover this underground movement if possible.

Give me Liberty or at least the chance to defend my own!