"Knock off the bullshit, Carlton," I finally said.
"You're prevaricating. If you can't get to the point, I'm just going to put you in the truck and haul you to the vet for your physical exam."
"Okay, okay," replied the pig, clearly irritated that I had interrupted his story.
"Here's the short version. The sheriff and I became friends. He decided not to eat me. In fact, he deputized me and he let me ride in his car like a canine. I had a sixth sense about when and where crimes were about to be committed. Some pigs can find truffles. They're called truffle hogs. I can sense criminal activity. I am a crime-fighting pig. Me and the sheriff stopped carjackers, rapists, muggers, and killers. One morning, we stopped a bank robbery. We saved lives. I don't know how many miscreants, scofflaws, criminals, and outlaws we ran down and captured. When we were at home at night, he'd have a deputy shine the Pig Signal up in the sky to alert us when I was needed."
"The Pig Signal?"
"That was the sheriff's idea. He'd read a lot of Batman comics when he was a boy and if a crime took place and a deputy thought I'd be helpful, a silhouette of me would be shined up in the sky and when we saw it bouncing off clouds, off we'd go."
"You're lying, now, Carlton. Admit it."
"Yeah. I thought you were dumb enough to buy that. There were never too many clouds. But I did help the sheriff stop a lot of crooks."
"Well, what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I am worn out. I want to retire and just sit around with a bunch of other pigs until it's my time to go," he replied.
"That makes sense," I answered.
"Well, let's get going, pig. Time for you to get neutered.
That's when Carlton flew out the window and was never seen again.
FIN
LOL when pigs fly....... that was great.
O Carlton, we hardly knew ye:
https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/flying-pig-rocket-to-the-moon-or-bust-mike-savad.jpg