He was a working girl
north of D.C. way.
Now, he's doing Vegas
in every possible way.
and if he could hear me say it,
this is what I'd say....
"Get the hell away from me, Sally. You disgust me."
That was what Carlton the crime-fighting pig told it. The crime-fighting pig was peacefully nursing a Double Scotch at the Bellagio.
Carlton finally had gotten tired of hanging out in Phoenix with the dregs of society and flew out to Las Vegas to reinvent himself, to find some meaning in life, and to get a new start with a different cast of dregs.
So far, he had only found a wide variety of top-end whiskeys and now, he'd attracted a homosexual man who imagined himself to be a woman.
He held his hand up to let the bartender know he'd need another drink in a hurry.
"I haven't seen you before. Did you just get in town?" asked the tranny.
Carlton looked deep into his glass and wished he had not stopped at the bar.
His slinky new companion slid into the seat next to his, crossed its legs and put an elbow on the bar. It waved to the bartender and in a jiffy, a Cosmopolitan and another glass of Macallen were tidily sat on paper coasters in front of the two.
"Don't you like to talk? I like to talk," said the swish.
"Bring me the tab," Carlton yelled to the bartender.
He looked deep into the amber liquid and it had an irresistible attraction for the old porker.
The noise from the chattering creature beside him faded into the distance. Faintly, the hypnotic sounds from the slot machines absorbed all the other sounds and Carlton slipped into a dream.
He saw the way things had become before the war, with useless, mindless, directionless husks wandering aimlessly with their faces jammed into their Neurocasters.
He remembered the unbalanced feeling people had when the United States broke apart into warring fiefdoms.
North of Vegas, far up in the Rockies and the Yellowstone, it was called the lawless area. Carlton had heard rumors about it, but he'd never met anyone that had actually been there.
He drank the whiskey in one swallow, filled out the information on the bar tab, and looked around. The homosexual was bothering a different man at the other end of the bar. Carlton patted his jacket pockets to make certain he had everything he needed. He stood up and yelled to the bartender, "It’s been nice meeting you".
"Same to you, Carlton. Say. Are you really heading up to the lawless area tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"Be careful."
Great story.
Nice surprise would be not so lawless after all.