Who, in search of Meaning, has not spent time in the Dark Night of the Soul? I'd wager the answer is no one.
I wandered from Protestantism to Adventism and found nothing but hypocracy and vanity.
The church I grew up in was more concerned with not smoking and not drinking than with following in the path of righteousness. When I discovered the Sabbath and became an Adventist, I found a group of well-meaning vegetarians who had bastardized the hymns of my youth, maintained the chords and the tunes, yet changed the verses to always emphasize the Saturday Sabbath. The classic book THE GREAT CONTROVERSY by Ellen G. White inspired me and the food dished up on a monthly basis was splendid, but something was lacking.
After 9/11, I went to church hoping for words of hope and consolation and found a bunch of screwballs who insisted that George W. Bush'es speech at the National Cathedral was proof that soon America would mandate Sunday worship.
That was the end of my time as an Adventist.
I wanted to believe I was a Taoist. Nearly forty years ago I took a class in comparative religions and Taoism was passed over as being so esoteric and ancient that the professor admitted he couldn't explain it. I enjoyed consulting the I CHING and what I had read about Taoist beliefs concerning the Creation rang true; but I don't worship my ancestors, so I continued to search.
The Internet quiz BELIEF-O-MATIC caught my attention and I excitedly answered its twenty multiple choice questions, wondering if it would direct me to a group that I would feel a kinship with.
Belief-O-Matic® | What religion am I? | What is my faith?
https://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/quizzes/beliefomatic
Over the past twenty years, I have taken the quiz four times and it always tells me I'm a Sikh at heart. Yet, the closest Sikh temple is a six-hour drive from my home and I've never felt that a ten-minute trip to a church was worth my time.
So I pondered the situation.
Having had an interest in the Knights Templar for most of my life, I was drawn to either the Masons or the Rosicrucians. At that time, I participated in a website called Quora.com and I posted a question to other contributors. The general consensus was that Masons belonged to a political group, people engaged in community affairs and who networked to support each other in business whereas the Rose Crossers were spiritual seekers.
Leonard Cohen - Dress Rehearsal Rag (Official Audio)
So I became a Rosicrucian. I don't regret it. It was an interesting experience. I learned that Isaac Newton was a Rosicrucian, that Leonardo da Vinci, George Washington, Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and Walt Disney were members. Fine company, indeed!
There are several Rosicrucian organizations. I decided to join AMORC (The Ancient and Mystical Order Rosæ Crucis, also known as the Rosicrucian Order). I selected that one because I had visited their headquarters and museum in San Jose as I was en route to Fort Richardson in Alaska, back in 1970.
My involvement with the organization was interesting, educational, and fun. I learned many different meditation techniques, how to travel in the astral plane, and how to communicate telepathically with my friends. It all went well for about a year. And then, the Master Monograph at the end of the Neophyte Section (Analytical Series No. 3) blew me out of the water with the statement that everyone is on the path to perfection and enlightenment.
I contacted the Grandmaster and learned that no questions and no debate were allowed.
Oh well.
On the Road again!
The Byrds -I am a pilgrim - YouTube
"I contacted the Grandmaster and learned that no questions and no debate were allowed."
Well, that is not very Rosicrucian of them is it? Were we not told that a Rosicrucian was a walking question mark? That's probably what stuck with me the most, and why I continue to seek and develop new questions. I am sure many will agree that over the last few years many new questions deserve to be asked.
I took a similar journey, although never wanted to be a Taoist. I wound up embracing Deism as the best explanation for the universe. Deism posits that there is a God. He created the universe and its rules, otherwise known as physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics, etc. Then he sat back and enjoyed the show.